Lower your standards (because it's never getting better than this)
by thebatmandiaries
Summary: Bruce just wants to go on a walk himself, Damian wants to walk his dogs, and Dick has a supernatural sense of when Damian is trouble.


Quick little one-shot while I figure out the rest of my stories. Thank you to everyone on discord who prompted me/helped me with the idea! I hope you all enjoy and ignore any possible OOC-ness, as I am still in the learning phase of writing fic!

Title from FOB's "Rat a tat" and all recognizable dc things belong to DC.

* * *

It was unusually warm for Gotham, what with its usually cloudy skies and snow being pelted down, covering every corner of the city with a blanket of pure white.

Not today though. Today most of the snow had melted (after it had rained of course, because they couldn't just have the snow melting). So Bruce took it upon his self to make sure that he could take a walk, all by himself, blissfully childfree for a few moments.

Until Damian came stomping down the stairs hollering for him. Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and took a long, deep breath.

"Yes, Damian, what is it?"

"Titus and Ace need to be walked. And seeing as the weather outside is acceptable, I wanted to take them with me. Although, Pennyworth has said I need parental guidance, so I came to you."

Bruce took a moment to look at his son. He looked annoyed, but not unhappy at the turn of events. "Of course Damian. I was just about ready to go on a walk my self, get the dogs leashed up and we can head out."

"Already done." Damian whistled, and Bruce heard two sets of nails clacking against the wood. He winced, knowing the scratch marks would need to be buffed out again, for the millionth time.

"Titus and Ace, sit!" Damian commanded as both dogs sat as their leash was put on. "Good dog."

He grabbed both of the leashes and started to walk out the door. Bruce raised an eyebrow. Titus and Ace new not exactly small dogs, and while he doubted Damian couldn't handle one, two was pushing it.

"How about I take Ace and you have Titus? That way we both have a dog to walk. " He offered, not wanting to seem like he thought Damian was incapable of walking both dogs. Because knowing him, he would try and prove it even if it was painful, just for the sake of pride.

Bruce won't admit Damian also inherited that trait from him, as well as from growing up with Talia and Ra's.

Bruce shrugs and says "Okay."

Years of having kids around (especially teenagers, and preteens for that matter) made him know when it was a losing battle and the only thing he would win is a moody child who was angry he wasn't listening.

As they were walking through the front door, they started on the sidewalk. As the snow was melting it left huge puddles in its wake. Bruce was glad he wasn't here with any of the others. As much as he loved them, they would all step (splash) in the puddle and not only get themselves soaked pants wise but him as well.

Up ahead, he saw Titus start barking at the sight of another dog. Ace, not one to be outdone, started to howl. The barks keep rising in sound, causing the dog across the street to bark too. The owner shared a commiserating look with Brice as she tried to calm down her dog, Eventually, they got enough distance and the dogs weren't pulling her leashing anymore.

Then: a bird. Or a squirrel. Whatever it was, was driving the dogs nuts and they sprinted forward, causing Damian to lurch forward and almost fall down. Now freed the dogs decided to run through the mud and bark at the tree.

Bruce sighed. So much for a peaceful walk.

* * *

Dick looked up immediately. He felt a sense of wrongness like something had happened.

"What's up?" Tim frowned across from him, sipping his milkshake.

They were in a sort of 1950's style diner, all vintage seats with a jukebox and everything. It was still very new, untouched by the criminal scum of Gotham. The patrons were laying bets about when the diner would be hit. The staff thought it was hilarious, and had made a board that said. "We are 5 days villain-free."

The management, who had just moved from another city, not so much.

"I don't know. I just got this feeling, like Damian is trouble."

"Weird." Tim shrugged.

"I'm going to call Bruce." He pulled out his phone and dialed Bruce's number. "Bruce, hey."

The sound of barking and yelling came through the phone. "Hey, Dick. Listen, I don't have time to chat, so I'll call you later okay?"

"Yeah, just a quick question?"

"Sure." Bruce's impatience rang through the phone.

"Is Damian okay?"

"How did you-never mind I'll ask later." A pause. "He's fine. I have to go, Dick, see you when you both get home."

"Well." Dick put his phone on the table. "That was weird."

Tim gave the "what can you do" gesture. "Well, he is with Damian, so I bet something is going on."

"Probably. Now finish your milkshake, we need to be back at the manor to meet Jason. He said that if we aren't there he is going to go home, and you know this will make Bruce's day when we show him." Dick called the waitress for the check.

"You and I have a much better idea of celebrating than I do."

"Yeah, I actually celebrate, unlike you all."

"Whatever." Tim mutters, engrossing himself back to his phone and drinking his milkshake.

* * *

Bruce sighed as they walked to the patio. After going to get the dogs and making sure Damian was okay, they headed back, but not before the dogs could jump in a huge puddle, covering them in the mud.

He set the hose on and started washing down the dogs, who did not like the water the hose was spraying. They would move their paws, hide their sides and all around made it difficult to clean them off. They were covered in mud, so it took about ten minutes each to clean them off. He knew if they weren't spotless, Alfred would have his head for tracking mud into the house.

Especially after he had cleaned the floors today.

He let the dogs run around on the patio (where thankful there was no mud.

Suddenly, Damian spoke up. "I could have handled them both. They just caught me by surprise, forcing me to let go."

"It's okay Damian. I believe you." Bruce smiled. "I know you could have."

"I am glad." Damian nodded.

Bruce slumped down on the seat, suddenly very tired. It had been a long few days, working tirelessly on a case for Commissioner Gordon.

He yawned and decided to take a rest, just for a few minutes. "Damian, tell Alfred we are home and get cleaned up." He mumbled, sleep lacing his words.

"Of course, Father."

As Damian left, Bruce felt his eyes close and a wave of tiredness consumed him.

* * *

"-uce. Bruce. Bruce! Wake up." A voice commanded and forced him awake. "Come on old man, I don't want to be here forever."

"Jason?" He muttered, sleep still lacing his words. "Why are you here?"

Jason rolled his eyes. "For you, duh?"

"What?"

"Just get in the kitchen." And with that Jason left, leaning him no choice what to follow.

As he walked into the kitchen, he was assaulted with color. Streamers, a sign proclaiming "It's a boy!", a few cards laying on the table and a big cake.

Bruce could guess who had done what job, based on the chosen choice of materials. He looked at the cake, a Batman-themed cake, and Bruce had to laugh.

"What's all this?"

Four heads turn to him in confusion. "Bruce, it's your birthday. We, well Dick, wanted to celebrate it, so he roped us into it."

"I got the streamers and picked up the cake, which Dami ordered a few days ago, and Tim and Jason got the banner. I told them to get a Happy Birthday one, but this was the only one they could agree on."

"Of course it was." Bruce rolled his eyes.

"Now, Master Bruce, time to get the candles out and let's start, we don't have all night." Alfred said, appearing from nowhere, as usual.

Bruce smiled, looking at everyone, all here together and not fighting. The singing ended and Alfred began cutting up the pieces.

"You got a much bigger now than me, Jason. Don't eve lie!"

"I did not! We have the same size."

"I deserve a piece bigger than both of them."

"How about Bruce gets the biggest piece since it's his birthday?"

Soon it devolved into chaotic yelling about the sizes of cake, and who gets what and how much, but Bruce knew he wouldn't want to be anywhere but here.

"Silence Todd! I will hear no more of this foolishness!"

_Crash!_ the vase fell on the floor.

_Well, most of the time, at least._


End file.
